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Are your fears holding you back from creating and living the life of your dreams? The answer is most probably, yes. If you’re ready to overcome your fears so that you can live more fully and authentically, then you need to apply these 3 easy tips on overcoming fear so that you are not holding yourself back from creating a life that you love.
What are you scared of?
And I don’t mean being scared of things like heights or spiders (and if you are scared of spiders, I’m totally with you on this one, no judgment!).
I’m talking about deep-seeded fears that subconsciously guide your thoughts and decisions, on a daily basis, which you might not fully be aware of.
I’m talking about fears like not being loved, not being good enough… the fear of failing, or of not doing something right… the fear of being judged by others, or of being hurt by someone.
I’m talking about deep-rooted fears about yourself, your self-worth, about the world around you, and fears about what the future can hold.
Because what we don’t consciously realize is that our upbringing and past experiences have shaped our beliefs about everything, about the world around us and ourselves. And some of these beliefs have turned into fears that guide our day-to-day decisions.
Let’s first talk about fears a bit more, so you have a better understanding of why you really need to work on overcoming them so that you can live more fully and more freely.
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HOW YOUR FEARS ARE YOU HOLDING YOU BACK
We don’t realize how much our fears are holding us back from being our true selves, from living life fully and enjoying life, because we are suck in worrying about the future or the past, or about what others are thinking about us.
Let me give you a more concrete example. Imagine that you’re scared of being judged and of what others think of you. Now put yourself in a situation where you would have to express your thoughts or opinion, like at work or in a social setting – how do you think you’d react? Are you more likely to hold back and not say exactly what you think, or would you express yourself and say what you really think?
If you’re scared of being judged, then most likely, you would hold yourself from saying anything, or you would maybe even edit what you say, because you’d be worried about what others think of you.
But then you’d be holding yourself back, from being your true self, from potentially connecting with others, and from maybe even having an impact on someone else’s life because you brought an interesting perspective to the conversation.
You need to bring awareness to your fears so that you can overcome them and become the best version of yourself. Otherwise, you will spend your life second-guessing every thought, action and choice, and you won’t be living your life wholeheartedly.
And what you need to realize is that your fear is your story from your past. You developed a fear because of something that has happened to you, and that created a story, a blueprint, about what that means.
In other words, like I mentioned before, your past experiences have subconsciously shaped your beliefs and have created some fears. Because yours fear are based on a belief that you will experience the same intense emotions from the past, instead of focusing on re-writing your story and what the future could mean.
Going back to the example of the fear of being judged by others – this fear might likely stem from a past experience when you might have been judged for something.
And maybe the emotions you experiences were so strong that you associated expressing yourself with being judged, and because your mind is trying to avoid experiencing that pain again, you are avoiding putting yourself in the same situation
But if you really think about it, that fear of being judged… is simply your brain focusing on what could be lost instead of what could be gained. Your brain is focusing on the lost of respect, or the loss of connection or relationships with others, rather than the potential for expressing yourself, feeling more confident, and maybe even connecting with someone new because of your opinion or perspective.
So… how do you move past these fears? How do you overcome them? Before they take control of your life?
1. ACKNOWLEDGE THE FEAR INSTEAD OF FIGHTING IT
You intensify your fear when you don’t want it to be there. When you desperately DON’T want it to be there, the stronger you will feel it, and the more you will want to reject it.
But what you need to remember is that instead of fighting the fear, you need to accept it. The faster you accept a fear and acknowledge it, the easier it will be to release it.
Because your fear is there to tell you something : you were in pain before, so it’s warning you that pain might come again.
But what your conscious mind is not realizing is that your fear is a reaction to the past and not the future. You are already making assumptions about the outcome instead of trying to create a new more empowering and inspiring future.
And by acknowledging the fear, you are putting your mind at ease that yes, I see that there is a risk of pain, but then instead of focusing on the fear, you can continue with the process of trying to understand it and release it.
2. BEING OKAY WITH THE OPPOSITE OF YOUR FEAR
This might sound contradictory, but hear me out. For example, if you’re scared of being alone, or not having enough money, or not being loved – you have to be okay with the opposite.
Because when you accept the opposite, you are facing your fear, and going through the experience of what you are trying to avoid. This will make it a lot less scary and easier to face.
So if you’re scared of being alone, you have to be okay with being alone.
If you’re scared of not having enough money, then you need to be okay with not having the financial abundance that you desire. Or if you’re scared of not being loved, then you need to learn to love yourself, no matter what others think of you, so that you can let go of what others think of you.
By being okay with the opposite of what you’re scared of, you’re removing the power from the fear and making it less than it is.
You are putting yourself in the situation that you were so afraid of, to then realize that it’s not as scary or bad or painful as you made it out to be in the first place.
3. UNDERSTAND WHERE THE FEAR COMES FROM
If you want to overcome your fears, then you have to take the time to understand it better and see where it comes from. By doing this, you will be able to acknowledge it and release it a lot faster.
For example, if you’re afraid of being judged by others, then you need to think back to past experiences – when was a time where you felt judged by someone? What happened? Why did you feel judged? How did you feel in that situation? And how did you internalize that judgment?
By taking a step back and trying to understand your fear, you are empowering yourself to better understand yourself, your reactions, so that you can be kind and patient with yourself. To acknowledge that you’re a certain way because of past experiences, and that there’s nothing wrong with that.
But then you can take control of it. You can take control of yourself, of the fear, so that it’s not holding you back from living your dream life and being the person that you were always meant to be.
When you bring a deeper level of understanding behind an emotion or a reaction, whether we’re talking about fears, then you will be able to manage it and release it a lot more effectively.
I want you take a 10-15 minutes, right now, and think about one fear that you have. Then go through the 3 tips to try and work through it and bring awareness to it and just focus on working through this fear for the next little while.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. Just start with one fear that you’re already aware of, and you’ll see that with time, the more awareness you bring towards your reactions, you will start noticing the things that you’re afraid of.